Everyone has moments when making a decision feels difficult.
- What if I choose the wrong option?
- What if I regret my decision?
- What if I’m overlooking something?
- What if I make a mistake I can’t undo?
For most people, uncertainty eventually becomes tolerable enough to make a decision and move forward.
For individuals with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), however, the possibility of making the wrong choice can become an exhausting cycle of analyzing, checking, researching, comparing, and seeking reassurance.
You may spend hours trying to make the “perfect” decision. You might repeatedly review your options, search for more information, ask other people what they would do, or mentally replay your decision after making it.
Even after you decide, you may continue wondering:
- Did I make the right choice?
- What if the other option would have been better?
- What if I missed something important?
The problem is often not the decision itself. It is the belief that you need complete certainty before you can move forward.
Clinical Vignette: When Every Choice Feels Like the “Wrong” One
A 32-year-old professional comes to therapy describing intense difficulty making even routine decisions. Choosing a new laptop for work takes weeks. She reads hundreds of reviews, compares specifications across multiple websites, and asks friends and coworkers which model they would choose. Even after purchasing one, she continues to check whether she made the “best” possible choice.
At work, she experiences similar distress with emails. She rewrites messages repeatedly, worried that a single word might lead to misunderstanding or negative judgment. She often delays sending them altogether.
What stands out clinically is not indecision itself, but the process: every decision becomes an attempt to eliminate uncertainty entirely. When certainty cannot be achieved, anxiety increases, leading to more research, more checking, and more reassurance seeking.
In therapy, she begins to recognize that the goal is not to find the perfect answer, but to learn how to make reasonable decisions while allowing uncertainty to remain present.
Frequently Asked Questions About OCD, Indecision, and Fear of Making Mistakes
Q: Why is it so difficult for me to make simple decisions?
A: OCD can make ordinary decisions feel much more significant than they actually are.
You may spend excessive amounts of time deciding:
- What to buy
- What to wear
- Where to eat or which restaurant to choose
- What to say in a text or email
- Whether to accept an invitation
- Which product or service to purchase
You may feel that there is a single “right” answer and that choosing incorrectly will lead to significant regret, disappointment, or negative consequences.
The more pressure you place on yourself to make the perfect choice, the harder the decision becomes. Instead of asking, “What do I prefer?” you may find yourself asking, “How can I guarantee I won’t regret this?” That question has no fully certain answer.
Q: Why do I keep researching and comparing before making a decision?
A: Research can be helpful when you genuinely need information. However, with OCD, research can become a compulsion when it is used to eliminate uncertainty.
You may:
- Read dozens of reviews
- Compare nearly identical products for hours
- Search for “the best” option
- Ask multiple people for their opinions
- Revisit the same information repeatedly
- Look for evidence that confirms you are making the correct choice
You may feel temporary relief when you find an answer. But then another doubt appears: “What if I missed something?” The search begins again.
Eventually, research stops being about gathering useful information and becomes an attempt to achieve certainty.
Q: Why do I ask everyone else what they think before I decide?
A: Reassurance seeking is a common compulsion associated with decision-making OCD.
You may ask:
- What would you do?
- Which one would you choose?
- Do you think I’m making the right decision?
- Are you sure?
You may also repeatedly check with the same person after receiving an answer, hoping that hearing the reassurance again will finally make you feel certain.
Their answer may provide temporary relief. But over time, this can reinforce the belief that your own judgment is not trustworthy.
Q: Why do I regret decisions immediately after making them?
A: OCD does not necessarily stop when the decision is made.
You may experience a brief sense of relief, followed by doubt: “What if I made the wrong choice?”
This often leads to post-decision checking, comparison, or mental reviewing. These behaviors tend to increase doubt rather than resolve it.
Q: What if I’m afraid of making a decision that will affect my entire life?
A: Some decisions naturally carry greater consequences.
OCD can turn this into a demand for certainty: “I need to know this is absolutely the right decision before I act.”
In reality, meaningful decisions always involve uncertainty. Treatment focuses on helping you make values-based decisions without requiring certainty.
Q: Why do I keep thinking about the decision after I’ve already made it?
A: This is often mental reviewing, a form of compulsion.
You may replay:
- What you chose
- Why you chose it
- What alternatives existed
- Whether you considered everything
Each review may feel like it should bring clarity, but instead it tends to generate more doubt.
Q: Why do I feel like I need to make the perfect choice?
A: Perfectionism can be an important part of OCD for some individuals.
You may believe:
- If I make a mistake, it means I failed.
- I should be able to figure this out perfectly.
- Uncertainty means I haven’t thought enough.
These beliefs make normal decision-making feel overwhelming.
The goal is not to stop caring about making good decisions. It is to learn that a reasonable decision can still involve uncertainty and imperfection.
Q: What if I never know whether I made the right decision?
A: This is one of the most difficult aspects of OCD.
You may desperately want to know that you made the correct choice. But trying to obtain that certainty can become another compulsion.
The goal of treatment is not to guarantee certainty, but to help you tolerate not knowing.
You can make a decision and still not know with 100% certainty whether it was “the best” one – and still move forward meaningfully.
Q: How do CBT, ACT, and ERP help with OCD indecision?
CBT helps identify thinking patterns that amplify doubt, perfectionism, and the perceived need for certainty.
ACT helps you make decisions based on values rather than waiting until you feel completely certain.
ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) helps you practice making decisions without engaging in compulsions like reassurance seeking, checking, over-researching, comparison, or mental reviewing.
The goal is not to teach you how to make the perfect decision. The goal is to help you make reasonable decisions and move forward without requiring absolute certainty.
Learn more about evidence-based treatments:
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Advanced Behavioral Health – CBT Therapy
- OCD Treatment / ERP: Advanced Behavioral Health – OCD Treatment
- National Institute of Mental Health – Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
Specialized Treatment for OCD, Indecision, and Perfectionism in New York and Connecticut
If you spend excessive time analyzing decisions, researching options, seeking reassurance, checking, or mentally reviewing choices, specialized treatment can help.
Dr. Suzanne B. Feinstein is a Columbia University–trained licensed clinical health psychologist specializing in evidence-based treatment for OCD, anxiety disorders, perfectionism, Relationship OCD, health anxiety, and related conditions.
Using CBT, ACT, and ERP, Dr. Feinstein helps individuals reduce compulsive decision-making patterns, tolerate uncertainty, and build greater confidence in their ability to move forward without needing absolute certainty.
You do not have to spend hours trying to guarantee that every decision you make is the right one.
To schedule a private consultation with Dr. Suzanne B. Feinstein, call 646-345-3010 or visit Advanced Behavioral Health: https://behaviortherapynyc.com/.